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Now that I have shared how to calm a panic/anxiety attack in part 1 of this series, I will move on to the various techniques that have helped me clear so much deep stuff and lighten the load over the past 25 plus years (and still going). Because that deep stuff is what is behind the panic attacks.
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BUT FIRST
Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor or phycologist. What follows is the result of my own personal experience. It is not intended to be medical or psychological advice. I am just sharing honestly and in all humility what has helped me in the hope that it might help even just one of you, if only a little. Please take what resonates, and let go of the rest.
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ABOUT ALL THAT DEEP STUFF
Definition of deep stuff, aka muck: depression, (physical, mental, emotional) pain, sorrow, guilt, shame, spinning around in circles, inability to make a definite shift, a rollercoaster of ups and down, especially downs; inability to feel ease, peace or upliftment in a lasting way. Yes, all this “fun” (not!) stuff. Some of this, if ignored long enough, can crystallize into first symptoms, then illnesses, sometimes what we call “inherited chronic illnesses” that seem to be mysterious. And finally, when the past trauma-current muck is truly deep and absolutely unacknowledged, it can translate into serious illnesses.
Not all of us, but most of us, especially old and ancient souls, have experienced many, many lives and have lots to clear, especially from what we have experienced on this plane of existence. Depending on where we are at on our journey, it can take a long time, and sometimes it feels like it is an endless process. It doesn’t have to be, of course, as each person and situation is different.
Though some issues in my life, even big ones, have finally resolved, I must admit that on certain others (equally big) I’ve been feeling like a donkey being led hither and thither by a dangling carrot that’s always just out of reach. For some time now, I’ve been ready to scream: “The fr%@king carrot has rotted!!!”
Yet I carry on. There is a knowing inside me that knows to continue, that the life I desire is there for me to allow.
I’m not saying I haven’t had some fun here and there along the way, but my aim and desire is to live a life of lightness, of ease, of freedom; a life in which I am able to be in stillness, peace and presence no matter where I am at, or what I am doing; a life of few compromises, preferably none. There is already so much intense, messed up stuff going on out there that can’t be avoided. At least within my own immediate sphere, I yearn for that sigh of relief and expansiveness. Don’t you?
All right then….
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FIRST IMPORTANT STEPS
There are many tools and techniques available to help us navigate through and clear the muck, though the most important ones I have found that have really worked for me boil down to a few. And they start with these steps:
- SELF OBSERVATION – Observe yourself. Watch your thoughts. Go for a dawdle in the forest, and ask yourself questions. Listen to whatever answers come up. Be honest with yourself. Journaling about what comes up also helps.
Ask more questions. Allow these questions to be open ended… “Ok, this is what is coming up now… What is this? Is it really mine? If not, who does it belong to? What else can it be? What else is possible?” When we define something as just this or that, we close the circle and limit the possibilities.
These, by the way, are also questions and techniques I have learned from Access Consciousness (more on this in the next post). - SELF LOVE – Have you ever known anyone get real results with so called “piss & vinegar”? I have not. So be kind to yourself: treat yourself and speak to yourself the way you would a beloved friend or sibling. Because we really don’t, do we? We save all that love, compassion and understanding for our loved ones, and tend to be ruthless and brutally judgmental with ourselves.
Validate your feelings. There is a reason behind each feeling, and also behind each challenge and block. Acknowledge them first, then dig. Just that acknowledgement alone is a source of huge relief. - CLEAR & RELEASE – When you spot the origin, find a way to release it (see further below). You need to clear out anything that is not the real you. And given the imprinting we each receive from the moment we are born (even while still in the womb actually), that’s a massive back pack full of rocks we need to release.
I have been working at this for more than twenty-five years and I’m still going, still learning. But I feel myself getting to that lighter place more and more, especially lately (as in, the past 2-3 months), with the layers getting thinner. By the way, patience is a learned lesson with me. My nature has always been to go from A to Z in a flash. Life has beaten that out of me, given me no choice but be patient. And yet now I cannot imagine myself any other way.
Back to self observation and self honesty: those two, supported by self love and self compassion – are the huge first step to clearing the gunk that is holding us back, as it makes it visible. This process also helps us in understanding what is ours and what is not, what is our responsibility to clear and what we have to “return to sender”. We also learn that, for as much as we would wish to in our eagerness to help a loved one, we cannot take someone else’s burden off of their shoulders. We cannot do the work for them. It is also disempowering to them, and extremely draining for us to even try. Honestly, that is actually a relief, as I have enough on my hands with getting myself straightened out!
This clearing thing is not an easy process, because whenever we are too close to an issue, we have a blind spot thus cannot see it properly. Also, we have all been so imprinted with low self esteem and countless bullshit reasons to disdain ourselves, all coming at us from so many fronts for so long, that the idea of truly loving ourselves is so abstract and surreal that bringing it into reality is a challenge. This is called dysfunctional programming, by the way, and has been embedded in the matrix for thousands of years.
I have heard so many times from so many books and teachers: “You need to learn to love yourself.”
And I would think: “What do you mean, of course I love myself!” Then turn around and blast myself for being too this, too that, not enough of this, not enough of that…. and on and on. And I wasn’t even consciously aware I was doing it. That was the “normal”.
Sheesh!!
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BEGINNING TO PRACTICE ALL OF THE ABOVE
Sometimes, we have an irrational extreme reaction (internal or external) to a situation that should otherwise be completely neutral and/or harmless. Noticing that is a good starting point. This kind of reaction often externalizes as strong fear, panic, sweat, shivers etc., or even knee-jerk reactions that really have no logical reason to be. If and when we have the wherewithal to pause and pay attention: that’s our big clue. That is where the a-ha moment is to be found.
“What the heck!? I never reacted like this before to this situation! Why now?”
What I have experienced is that, these deep issues and traumas that seem to show up “all of a sudden, out of the blue”, lay dormant within us until we wake up and begin the process, until we are ready to deal with them. We go slow at first and then things speed up, and the layers come up as we are ready to look at them. It is a silent commitment that we make, almost an unconscious one, yet it is very powerful.
It usually happens in the moment when we say to ourselves, quietly or out loud: “I’m tired of living this way! Something is not right. There has to be something better!”. This often happens as a result of some dramatic experience (like a divorce, accident, illness, or grief). It is then followed by the “Who am I, really? Where did I come from? What the heck am I doing here?” kind of questions.
Until that point, these buried traumas color our lives, but they are invisible and unconscious, well hidden behind programming and/or blind spots that are sometimes inherited, sometimes even created by us just so we don’t see what is painful.
And when we release these stuck energies, we feel more than just relief: it is as if they never even existed. We go from being deeply miserable, bitching and moaning and talking about them all the time to anyone who would listen, to “what was that all about?”
I have been through several smaller and one really big one of those releases, and it’s amazing!
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Quite often, the situations and events that we can trace things to in this life, though being good triggers that revive an old issue so we can finally resolve it, usually have roots in other lives. The added lack of self worth and/or low self esteem – which can be sabotaging even in someone who appears to be confident and strong – have been imbued in us for centuries, millennia even. They affect us on all levels in subtle and sneaky ways: our health, finances, personal relationships, our jobs/careers and all aspects of life.
Which is why I have found that, the self observation, questions and honesty are the important starting points. The next step is to get help.
Theoretically, we could do this release work ourselves, but for most of us this is difficult because we are so emotionally involved we have no idea what to do. It would also take so much longer than it already does. Even the best psychic energy healers turn to others with similar aptitudes in order to help clear their own stuff.
It is like the difference between giving ourself a back massage and receiving one: it sure is better than nothing, but not quite the same.
Ideally, we should be able to take a deep breath, get ourselves grounded and stop spinning long enough to become still and find that presence. Except when we are spinning fast, we are like a train going at high speed. We cannot stop in our tracks, the momentum is too strong. We have to slow down gradually, then come to a stop, and only then we can finally change direction.
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MY PROCESS
For me it started with Reiki. Forever ago, a friend sent me Reiki in a moment of intense distress, and it helped immensely. I actually felt the transformation within the hour. The speed of this was possibly because I was at the tail end of what I was dealing with, so it was a matter of clearing the residue. Nonetheless, I had never experienced anything like it, and I became interested. I took the first level initiation, then the second, then eventually became a Reiki Master (though I never chose to teach).
In the meantime, I also saw a traditional therapist for a while. That did not help at all, actually, as she had the same issues that I did and had not sorted herself out. How could she help me?
I have always been an avid reader, and that is when novels started to give way to more and more spiritual and self-help books. The books inspired me, expanded my view and brought some answers. The first book to made a big difference for me was The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield. It opened things up, and everything else snowballed from there. It is interesting to notice how, both the first Reiki distance treatment and this book were brought to me within mere months by the same friend – one who, in the end, did not really continue on the self healing path herself.
A book, then another, then internet became a richer experience so I started researching that way.
I connected with like-minded people on a similar quest, something that was to that easy at the time, as these topics were not as mainstream as they are today. Nevertheless, I made or deepened some of the closest friendships in my life. I explored, expanded, read some more, attended workshops both in Italy and the United States. It all helped and guided me.
Without a doubt, all of the above sparked, helped and supported the process. But it was not until I started working with energy healers/psychics of a high level that the real healing and releasing began. Some of it happened while I still lived in Italy, through one of the friends I mentioned, who did this kind of work. The rest after I moved to the Big Island of Hawai’i. It is still ongoing to this day, and I expect it will likely continue – hopefully lightened – for the rest of this life.
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I am not saying you have to move to Hawai’i to bring about change. We each have our own way and go through our own steps. That was my path, which has multi-layered reasons behind it. I have to say, however, that when Hawai’i calls, you cannot ignore that call. It is very powerful, and very loud.
The Big Island especially, which is also called the Land of Fire and Ice (yes, like Iceland), as well as the “Dirty Laundry Island”.
Madam Pele is not subtle, and if you bring hidden issues (dirty laundry) with you to the island, she will shove them in your face for you to see. They will be so obvious you could not ignore them. I know it by personal experience with myself, as well as that of others around me.
I have met people who moved to Hawai’i (particularly the Big Island) full of enthusiasm and determined to stay for the rest of their lives. Within two years they were gone, moved back to where they came from.
All the islands have this power, this Mana, yet though the other islands are much gentler, the Big Island is “unforgiving”.
Therefore now I will list the techniques, and sometimes the specific energy healers/psychics/therapists that have helped me and that are still active.
Be aware that this kind of work is not simple and requires commitment. But hey, if you are still reading this it is because you have had enough of forever spinning in same muck, and any bit of light is better than staying stuck.
In any case, once you start, you cannot go back. You don’t really want to either. Like a mind expanded by new knowledge can never shrink back to where it was, a soul that expands cannot and does not wish to go back to being restricted. Even in the moments when I felt I was getting nowhere and it seemed like nothing was changing, I knew that I wanted only to go forward. And I have hit some deeply desperate moments, despite living in a glorious place like Hawai’i.
So, here goes….
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THE STUFF THAT REACHES THE FATHOMS: HEALING ENERGY WORK
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This is the work that really goes deep. Over the years I have done, assisted by various energy healers and shamans, several soul retrievals, received many energy readings and many energy healing sessions through various techniques. I don’t even remember all of them.
These techniques are in many ways similar, yet different. Usually, each practitioner tends to blend several and create a modality that really works well for them. By an by I will include names and links to the practitioners I have worked with, and often still do; ones that I trust and feel safe in recommending.
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READINGS
Readings are the ground level. A good energy reader is able to access what are known as your Akashic Records. Those are the records that are stored within your DNA and the Earth herself of ALL your lives and experiences on this Earth plane and even beyond. Some of us visualize the Hall of Records like a big library, with many rooms, shelves and books. Some see it as a large, light-filled hall with advanced technology storing the data.
By accessing these records and your energy field (with your permission, of course) a good reader can help you find answers, assess where you are at, and assist you in figuring out your next steps from a wider perspective. We could do this ourselves, of course, but like I said earlier, even for the most intuitive or psychic of us it is difficult to have clarity when the issue is too close or too painful.
An intuitive/psychic reader has the detachment necessary to see with more clarity. A good one will also not try to interpret for you, but give it to you the way they see it, even if it does not make sense to them.
I have found that those are the best type of reader, as otherwise, in their genuine desire to be helpful and make sense, there is the risk of them putting their own spin on what they see, inevitably filtered by their own issues and experiences. A good and experienced seer/reader/psychic is able to put those aside, if not entirely, almost.
During an energy or Akashic Records reading, our guides usually work with the reader and give her/him information and messages in the form that is best practiced and received with the most clarity by the reader and by us.
I have had many of these readings and the techniques have been as different as the readers I have encountered: from tarot, to Akashic Records, to runes, to shells, Aura-Soma, or simply accessing the energy directly, without tools. Aside from the very early ones, when I still had to learn to discern the good readers from the cuckoos, I have found them helpful and have learned from each. Many times, the readings would confirm what I knew already. Because we do know already, but we are often afraid of trusting our knowing, so, once in a while, an external perspective or confirmation can be very helpful.
Depending on our intention and the practitioner, a reading can also become a healing session. Usually a healing session is also, by necessity, a reading, while a reading is not necessarily a healing session. However, a reading can trigger a healing crisis as a result of our own intention. It has been my experience that energy begins to move the moment I call to set up an appointment: that is, the moment I take action on my intention.
- A good reader I still work with and can recommend is Diantha Harris. Diantha is highly intuitive and works from the heart using a blend of techniques. She is based in Florida and can be reached via her e-mail: lifepnet@aol.com. She asked that you include “Monica’s referral” in the subject line so she won’t delete the e-mail. She said these days she’s ruthless about deleting what look like spam e-mails. And who can blame her!
Diantha also has a vast experience in working with the vibrational healing properties of colors. Besides publishing books on the topic, she has been a guest author on this blog with a series of articles about Color & Wellbeing, which you might enjoy reading at this page.
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ENERGY HEALING
This takes all of the above to the next level. And there are several energy healing techniques available, which suit different practitioners and personalities.
The ones I have experienced and benefited from over the years are:
- Psychic Energy Work
- The tools of Access Consciousness
- Soul Retrieval
- Constellations
I have experienced others, and I am sure there are others still, but these are the ones that have achieved the most results for me personally.
- PSYCHIC ENERGY WORK
My experiences with these types of healing sessions are multiple. I started working with a psychic healer back in Italy in the 2 years before I moved to Hawai’i. I would mention her, but she is currently no longer offering these types of services.
I then continued on and off in Hawai’i with one recommended practitioner or another (I always ask for recommendations from people I trust), until I met Michelle Byrne. I have been working with Michelle almost exclusively for about 15 years, with an average of 8-10 sessions per year.
These sessions have been and are mostly centered on me, but sometimes I have requested sessions for my parents (with their specific permission, of course) and my dogs. However, given that they are all extensions of me and part of my soul family, whenever I clear something within me, they benefit, too. That is how this “work” works: you heal and release something in you, and all your ancestors and soul family cheer.
Michelle is the one that has helped me clear so much, go so deep, really peel that onion. She is extremely kind, gentle and powerful. Besides my own guides and team, she works with an amazing spiritual team of her own. Over the years, she has refined her techniques, and keeps growing, as she practices what she preaches by working on herself as well. She is also an expert in herbs and works with them both on the physical and the etheric level. Michelle has truly assisted me through some rough times, helping me get to where I am today.
If you are interested in working with her, you can contact her through her website. She has lived several years on the Big Island of Hawai’i, which is where I met her, though she is currently based in Chicago. Michelle is also the creator of those wonderful mists I mentioned in chapter 1 of this series, and will talk about more in a later one.
Bottom line: if you work with Michelle, you hardly need anyone else, which is why I have mentioned her first.
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- SOUL RETRIEVAL
I have both been the recipient and the facilitator of soul retrievals, a technique I learned in Hawai’i and California during my shamanic trainings. Through rhythmic drumming, the shaman enters the zone and connects with the part of your soul related to the specific issue you are trying to resolve and that has detached due to trauma. The shaman then talks that wounded/detached part into returning to the fold, thus helping you to become more whole. Becoming completely whole and reconnecting all the parts of us that are scattered throughout the multiverse is what old souls are here to do in this life, at this particular time in Earth’s history.
Sometimes, I have also done my own soul retrievals, assisted and protected by my guides and angels. It is similar to a meditation, and can get quite visual. Occasionally for me it has also happened in dream state. But if you are just starting and learning, it is best to work with a shaman.
Soul retrieval is also a natural consequence of energy healing. Also, in both soul retrieval and psychic energy healing, we by necessity tap into other lives to find the source of what needs clearing. Actually, this is true of all energy healing I have experienced. You start from here and now, from what you wish to resolve, and you never know where you end up.
There are three shamans I have worked with and can recommend (besides Michelle that is):
- Robert K Dubiel, with whom I have done several in-person sessions while still living in Hawai’i. I am not sure if he now also works remotely. Robert is based on Maui and can be reached through his website.
- Annette Hulefeld, who was based in Chicago at the time, and still might be. I have worked with her only once, about a year before moving to Hawai’i, but she made a big impression on me. That one session triggered a big change for me, and I remember it in detail to this day. Annette is still quite active and can be reached through her website.
- Denise Linn, who is a renowned international author, shaman and facilitator of Cherokee ancestry with an interesting story of her own. She lives here in California, just a couple of hours drive from where I am, actually. She does not offer personal sessions, but she does offer very good programs, classes and guided meditations. She has been one of my teachers and I have attended and certified in her Intuitive Feng Shui & Space Clearing Course and in the Master level of that, both of which include a lot of deep soul searching and shamanic work.
I also recommend her guided meditations and certainly her books, both of which I still use and read and which have inspired and helped me a lot throughout the years. Denise can be reached through her website.
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- FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS
Also known as Systemic Constellations, Family Constellations is a very specific therapeutic method which draws on family system therapy to reveal and transform hidden patterns, and help shine light and resolve personal, professional and collective issues.
There are Constellations practitioners all over the world. I have experienced and benefited from this technique immensely several times over the past 3-4 years, through a brilliant practitioner who is now also a dear friend. Though she speaks English, she is Italian. If you are Italian or speak Italian, and are interested in this technique, here is how to contact her.
- Consolata Anguissola, who can be reached via her website, as well as her e-mail: imprendo520@gmail.com and her cell phone (Italy) +39-338-370-3988
Consolata also specializes in the Twin System Constellations as introduced by Dr. G.C. Freni, as well as having a strong focus on supporting you with business and finance issues.
Besides all her many talents, Consolata is very kind and compassionate, and interacting with her is like taking a breath of fresh air. She is the one who also introduced me to Access Consciousness, and I will talk about this in a moment.
- Beyond her, here are a few resources to help you find out more about Family Constellations and practitioners of this technique:
www.hellingerinstitute.com
www.gemellonatosolo.com
www.souladvisor.com
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- ACCESS CONSCIOUSNESS
A few years ago, Consolata introduced me to Access Consciousness. The tools of Access have helped me immensely, and I will talk about them more in the next installment as they really belong in the Self-Actioned section.
But make no mistake, these tools may be simple yet extremely powerful, and leave “no stone unturned”. By clicking on the given link to the website, you can begin browsing if you wish, but I will write more about my personal experience in the next chapter.
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I actually meant to add more to this post, but this is already quite long, with a lot of information to absorb. So I think we are all ready to say: “It’s a wrap!”
If you haven’t read part 1, which focuses specifically on panic/anxiety attacks and on how to calm them, you can do so at this link. The rest will follow in installments over the next few weeks.
An overall recommendation: with all the techniques and practitioners I have listed and will continue to list here, always use your discernment and knowing to feel if you are a good match. I have shared them because they have helped yield positive results for me. But every notion, choice, step forward and contact that you may choose to make from what I have shared, and everything that may or may not result from that, is your responsibility.
Also, please remember to never turn anyone into a guru. The era of gurus is long past. You are your own guru.
In my experience, the best teachers, energy healers etc. present themselves with humility, genuine love for what they do and an honest desire to help others. They also do their best to render you independent and help you find your own answers, because the time in which we find our answers outside ourselves is coming to an end. Therefore, anyone who presents him/herself as a guru whether openly or in a more devious narcissistic undercurrent, are best avoided. These are lessons we all learn along the way.
As a rule of thumb in all channeling, psychic readings, shamanic sessions et all: if you feel fear from what is shared or what you receive, it means that the energy or message is coming from the lower astral plane, and you might want to find another practitioner. If you feel light and uplifted: the message is indeed coming from the higher realms and it is safe to continue. Actually, I find that this is applicable to just about everything else in life as well.
All of the above said, and I know it’s a lot, I truly hope you will find this helpful, even if just a little. And like I said last time, if you are going through rough times, keep going. You are not alone, and know that you are loved.
If you have any questions, you can leave them in the comments below – as the question & answer interaction might help someone else as well – or you can e-mail me at monica@lifeoutofbounds.com.
I myself send you so much love and infinite blessings.
What else is possible? How does it get better than this?
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Part 1 in this series: Self Care for the Rough Times, Part 1: Tips to Get Over a Panic Attack
Part 3 in this series: Self Care, part 3: Simple Tools to Support the Healing Energy Work
Part 4 in this series: Self Care, Part 4: Observation, Softening, Integration & Release
Part 5 in this series: Self Care, Part 5: Holistic Wellbeing Therapies and Treatments
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If you enjoyed this post, you might like to peruse more in the Healthy Living section, or maybe some of my personal stories, which you will find by clicking on the relevant images below.
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